My step sister and I share a bathroom that joins our two bedrooms. The door that leads into my step sister’s room into the bathroom is a pocket door. A pocket door is the kind of door that slides in and out of a slot in the wall, but it is also the kind of door that jams easily. When I first moved in, my step sister cheryl and I would constantly try to get the door to cooperate, but no matter how many times we kicked it and hit it into place it always found a way to jam itself again. After a couple of months of struggling with the door we decided to surrender, and just allow it to remain wide open. We thought that not fighting with the door was the only answer, but last night we realized that that our solution is flawed.

I have mentioned before that we are having a family reunion at the end of June, many people are going to be staying at our house. Unfortunately my sister Eva and I are going to be in New Jersey for our cousin’s wedding during the reunion, so we will not be able to see all of the relatives. The up side to this dilemma is that my parents can allow relatives to stay in our rooms. The only problem is that the bathroom door does not close.

For my sister and I, the door not closing isn’t much of a problem.The door hasn’t worked properly in months, and privacy has become a thing of the past. It wasn’t until last night when the door really seemed to be an issue. My family  realized that the cousins staying in the rooms might want some privacy. Privacy was not something that occurred to Cheryl of myself, because both Cheryl and I have become accustomed to the open door policy. We have become used to working around one another’s schedules and not getting in each others way, but the truthfully what makes the door dilemma manageable is that we don’t really care about it much anymore. We don’t care that we have no privacy, or that one of us has to shower while the other brushes their teeth. In fact, as long as we get to school on time we don’t really care if we have to shower together.

There is a cat that lives on our street named Buddy. A couple months back Buddy’s brother was hit by a car and was killed. After Buddy’s owners recovered from the death of their beloved cat they decided to adopt two new kittens that would serve as Buddy’s new siblings. Buddy was used to being the center of attention and felt neglected when the two kittens joined his life. Ever since the adoption of the two new family members Buddy has been in a depression.

Every day at around the same time Buddy comes over to our house to beg for food and attention. When he first came over we felt sympathy for him. We would feed him heaps of cat food and shower him in attention. In the first few months my family felt that we were helping buddy get through a difficult time, when in fact we were enabling him in alienating his family.

Although Buddy feels neglected it really is time for him to move on with his life and adapt to his new surroundings. It is okay to feel like you don’t belong in your new family and that you need to lean on a friend for support, but it has been months and Buddy is still an emotional wreck.

Today I found a box of cornmeal that was kept in the back of our pantry. The labeling on the package gave the impression that the box was from the early 90’s. The box was dust covered and the cardboard seemed frail. I turned to my step brother Sam and said, “I think i’m going to make some corn muffins. I mean what’s the worse thing that could happen?”

“Well they could suck.” My brother retorted. I figured that if the worse thing that would happen was that I would have to toss the batch, then it would be worth trying.

When I said that I wanted to make the muffins I was caught off guard when Sam offered to help. Although Sam is interested in cooking he usually just watches when anyone makes cookies or cupcakes. While we were mixing the basic ingredients together I noticed that he was pretty much doing all of the work. Not only did he do all the baking, but he also cleaned up.

Anyone that knows Sam knows that he doesn’t volunteer to clean up a big mess all on his own. When I didn’t have to pull teeth to get him to help me I realized something. Sam wasn’t being nice for any old reason, it was because this was the first time we had really seen each other in a couple of months. Sam was trying to make a good first impression.

It seems to me that because Sam can drift off into his own world when he isn’t staying with us he becomes a different person when he does re-appear, a person who washes dishes and makes muffins. I’m not sure if separation makes the heart grow stronger, but it does make it easier to get along with siblings. I think that being able to spend time away from your step siblings makes living with them much easier, because I know that the next week will be different.

This past weekend my mother and step father were out of town, and my siblings and I were in charge of taking care of the house. This is a task that my step brother Mark usually takes care of, but because he was having oral surgery the rest of us were responsible for taking care of the pets.

Friday after school my sister Eva went over to check on our dog Joey and the rest of the pets. Unaware that she didn’t put Joey back into the side yard where he sleeps, she left and went over to our dad’s house.

The next day our mother got a call from the tenants saying that Joey had been left out and that they had taken care of him. The tenants also said that Joey had gotten along with their dog.  This was shocking to all of us, because a) Joey doesn’t  doesn’t get along with other dogs, and b)Joey hates men.

When I came over the next day and saw Joey frolicking in the grass with the other dog I was overjoyed. This has been the first time that Joey has actually been able to truly embrace his new life. Just by seeing the two get along made me finally realize that our dog, and ultimately our entire family have overcome the obstacle of getting along with other people.

The family reunion is coming up… the Shady reunion. Shady is my step father’s last name, and although it’s a nice name, it’s not the most flattering name in the world. I mean who wants to be a shady person?

When we were planning the reunion months ago one of my aunts suggested that we all make ceramic plates and make one of the requirements that it needed to have the name Shady written on it somewhere. I protested, after all Shady isn’t my last name, why should I have to write it across my plate?

As it turned out a vast majority of the people going to the reunion did not actually possess the name Shady. In fact I estimate that only ten people still have the name. My step father is one of seven, two boys and five girls, so it is easy to see how the name lost its impact.

However, I do find it funny that I am often asked if I am going to change my name to Shady. The answer is no, and for a very good reason; I already have a last name, and I don’t intend to change it. My hesitation to change my last name has nothing to do with the fact that Paul is my step father, and everything to do with my own preservation.

Today was mothers day and probably the nicest most relaxing day in quite some time. Mother’s day is always a very special day for everyone, but in a blended family it’s the day of all days. In our family Mother’s day is the one day out of the year in which my sister and I are ensured a fun outing with just our mom. Any other day of the year and our step siblings would tag along. It was nice to know that on this particular day our step siblings were content to be with their own mother.

One of the greatest things about my mother is that she doesn’t believe that Mother’s day should be all about her, in fact she believes it should be about all of us. Today we went and go get  our nails done and then we saw a movie. I can’t even count the numerous times people have told me they spent their Mother’s day weeding the garden and making dinner. While it is true that my sister and I cleaned the kitchen after our step father made dinner, it wasn’t something that we weren’t used to doing, and it wasn’t an over the top chore.

I hope that my kids will see Mother’s day as a fun day, and not a day when I force them to be slaves and work like dogs.

A couple of months ago I had a friend over, she was really interested to hear about what it was like to gain a completely new family over night. She wanted a tour of the house, a complete history of my life, and a biography of everyone in my family. When my step sister finally arrived home from a friends house she was overwhelmed with questions about her new life as a step sister. It caught my attention when my friend asked her what it was like to gain two new sisters. In all the time I had spent with her she had never asked what it was like to gain two new brothers.

Not only had my friend never asked me what it was like to gain two new brothers, nobody had ever asked me. My step sister definitely did have a difficult transition, but I felt that adjusting to two new brothers was one of the most difficult things I ever had to do. I remember my mother telling me horror stories about my father and his four brothers. My uncles would throw balls and rocks at each other as hard as they could. Not to say that girls don’t play rough every now and then, but it seemed to me that these boys were always kicking or hurling something at someone every waking hour.

My step brothers were no exception, and their energy sometimes felt like too much. The upside to meeting my step brothers when they were twelve and fourteen, was that they grew out of their energy soon. Once they were both in their teens they mellowed down to my level of activity. I don’t know how my step sister eva dealt with their pranks and games for so long. Now that my step brothers are older, they are nice to hang out with and talk to, but that wasn’t always the case.

My sisters and I rode our bikes down to the beach today. I don’t normally go with them on their little adventures, but today was extremely nice out, so I decided to tag along. The second we set off for the beach I remembered why I never come on these little adventures, i’m a klutz.

The trek was something to sophisticated for my hand eye coordination. I fell off my bike multiple times, grazed the side of a wall, and nearly knocked my sister over. When we finally arrived at the beach, I turned my back to the waves, lost my balance, and swallowed multiple gulps of sea water.

I’m glad Cheryl and Eva can go to the beach together, because i’m a complete killjoy when it comes to outdoor adventures. Next time I think i’ll go to the pool.

I met Cheryl when she was a seven year old in second grade. Meeting Cheryl at such a young age was probably the biggest blessing I could have. At seven Cheryl was__how should I put this__simple. When you’re in elementary school one tends to use adjectives like blonde, tall, smart, and funny,which is exactly what Cheryl did. It isn’t because she had a small vocabulary that she didn’t describe herself in a more complex manner, it was because her life really was just that simple.

Simple was exactly the clean slate Cheryl and I needed to get to know each other. Although she wasn’t a new baby sister that I could show that world to, she was close enough. Although Cheryl had grown up in her own world of traditions and customs, she was eager to be a part of our world.

Cheryl has always been one to want to do things together as a family, and in doing so she has been able to bring us closer together. Without  Cheryl I wouldn’t have learned how to be one family of seven instead of two families of three and four.

As I mentioned in my last post, my favorite thing about my sister Eva, is her creativity. While many teenagers surf the web and listen to music, Eva creates her own world. Eva’s most recent ventures include making her own dance routines, directing short films, and writing parodies of her favorite songs. Besides media activities Eva also shows us games she comes up with using random articles around the house.

One of my favorite summer games we play involves our trampoline, the garden hose, and a bottle of dish soap. To play the game we  cover the trampoline in soapy water, and then tying plastic bags to our feet. This combination makes it incredibly easy to slip and slide, which is what makes the game so fun. Everyone tries to bounce their opponents high enough so that the other players fall down. The “Trampoline game” isn’t really a game with rules, just a way to cool off and kill some summer hours, but recently Eva has been able to modify the game to make it more interesting. Eva finds designing clothes very fun, and so when she suggested we make garbage bag dresses to wear on the trampoline we weren’t surprised. The dresses help to make the soapy water even slippery, so when someone falls down, they usually slide around on the ground for a couple of minutes before someone has mercy on them, and lets them get up.  Another part of Eva’s creativity is her ability to come up with excuses, so when our mother objects to the soapy trampoline mess Eva exclaims, “but it cleans the bird poop off.”

One of the songs she is working on writing is a song entitled Guacamole, which is a parody of Paparazzi.  Her attention to detail is incredible. Eva spends weeks working on a song that will be true to the melody, but also follow a story she wants to create. Once the song is written we will help to make the music video, and that will give us all something to do.